Survival. Year 15…
November 15 is my survival date. It is also my mother’s birthday. The duality of this day has always been challenging, but this year feels different. Today marks a milestone year—15 years of the new normal of November 15. Up until now, I had never verbally shared my story outside of court proceedings (i.e. detectives, attorneys, district attorneys, victim advocate) or with one-on-one conversations to people who I trusted to share details. Earlier this year, I decided to shed the shame and get extremely vulnerable to an audience of an international platform. My anxiety was at a paralyzing layer at the thought of this, but I felt a compelling purpose to release so much of what I had been holding back for more than a decade. This was no longer about me wanting to avoid discomfort. This was about other survivors who needed to hear about my story, who need encouragement along their journey of survival, or who need inspiration to seek their own justice.
Thank you, Katie Koestner, for having me on Dear Katie: Survivor Stories. You gave me the opportunity to peel back many of the layers of trauma that I have experienced. The full, unedited interview gave me such an immense feeling of overdue, much-needed release. We couldn’t include the entire conversation, but the final episode that was aired makes me feel proud of using my voice. Today, my 15th survival date, I am grateful for the overall journey. I am proud of how far I’ve come this year alone. I am continuing to walking in vulnerability. I am focused on my healing and how I can support other survivors as they navigate survival. I am committed to make lasting change to how society handles victims of crime.
Year 15… I can’t change the past, there’s no turning back. Instead, my vision is towards the future. I am looking forward to continuing to share my stor(ies) of survival until I can no longer speak. Listen to my first podcast episode, Hazelnut Entremet, below:
TW: sexual assault, rape, violence
Dear Katie: Survivor Stories, Hazelnut Entremet
Bloom in Power,
Tennie
